Nine Types of Artists

There are many different kinds of artists, and I am here to poke fun at them. This is a humorous blog post, not meant to offend anyone in any way.

Like everything else in life, these stereotypes have their advantages and their disadvantages. I have decided to list those advantages and disadvantages.

So before any more ados are in any way furthered, let’s begin.

1. The Messes

Paint in their hair, ink on their faces, chalk on their hands, smudges on their clothing. The messes are easily identifiable by the fact that they’re… well, messy! Their artistic work spaces will be in a state of so much disarray that a student of chaos theory could spend hours there.

Advantage: The Messes have everything exactly where they want it. Things may seem chaotic, but they know where all their tools are, and their creative flow would just be interrupted by the act of cleaning.

Disadvantage: Unless you know their work space just as well as they do, you won’t be able to find anything of importance. This can be especially frustrating if they’ve asked you to grab a tool for them, but it’s hidden under a stack of papers.

2. The Neat-Freaks

The Messes’ opposites, the Neat-Freaks know exactly where everything is, and so do you. Because every single drawer is labeled, the paints are organized by color, work in progresses are kept separate from finished pieces, and you’d swear their smocks have never seen a day of work because they’re so clean.

In actuality the Neat-Freaks just keep everything tidied up, from their work clothes to their pencils, making their workspaces seem like a museum.

Advantage: Lack of clutter and abundance of organization means that the Neat-Freaks’ work spaces are incredibly easy to work and move around in.

Disadvantage: Neat-Freaks generally lack the spontaneity that the Messes have.

3. The ‘Artists’

You know the ones. They wear strange clothing, only watch indie films, listen to music by bands ‘you’ve probably never heard of’. Suspiciously, they never seem to be working on any art, of any kind, even though they call themselves artists. You’ve invited them to come sketch with you, or you ask to see some of their work, but the answer is always no.

Advantage: While they don’t seem to be artists, they do admire art, and so probably admire your work if they’ve chosen to associate with you.

Disadvantage: They don’t make art.

4. The Academics

The Academics turn art into a science, and they will master that science. The art part, not so much. Their art is very skillful though, as Academics have put hundreds of hours into studying color theory, form, lighting, etc.

Advantage: The amount of study and dedication they put into learning the skills necessary to create good art really shows in their work.

Disadvantage: They are generally perfectionists, meaning that they’ll slave away at a piece for ages because something isn’t quite good enough.

5. The Free Spirits

While the Academics take art and turn it into science, the Free Spirits don’t leave any science at all. Instead they prefer to let all of their emotions and inspiration take over their work.

Advantage: Free Spirits can make very moving pieces because of the sheer amount of emotion they put into their work.

Disadvantage: Free Spirits tend to keep strange schedules, only working when ‘the mood strikes them’.

6. The Blocks

Three words: constant art block. Sure, inspiration and motivation may hit the Blocks at times, but it only lasts for a few hours. After that it’s back to nothingness. If they ever get the urge to make art, do not stop them.

Advantage: The Blocks know what it’s like to have art block, and will be a source of sympathy if/when art block hits you.

Disadvantage: Art block sucks. End of story.

7. The Idea Fountains

They have so many ideas. They can look at the most random object and get an idea. A wooden board gives them a subject idea, a subject which has nothing to do with wood or boards. They are constantly scribbling down thoughts while out and about, and working on hundreds of sketches when they’re in their homes.

Advantage: They have too many ideas, and so will be happy to share with you!

Disadvantage: They will never have the time to make all of the cool art projects they wish they could, just because they think of so many projects.

8. The Money Bags

Somehow the Money Bags can afford to have all of the most expensive art supplies. All of them. They could probably afford to buy an entire art supply store. Heaven knows they could start one with all of the art supplies they have stocked up.

Advantage: They may share their stash with you, and they give the best gifts.

Disadvantage: The quality of the tools does not make the quality of the art. Just because they’ve got expensive art supplies doesn’t mean that their art is going to be very good.

9. The Thrifters

These artists will pay as little as possible for art supplies, going as far as taking random pens and pencils they find lying about. They can make art out of anything, and the cheaper that anything is, the better.

Advantage: They save a lot of money with their thriftiness.

Disadvantage: They can be a bit too stingy at times.

So those were nine types of artists. What kind are you? I’m mostly the Academic, with a bit of Block thrown in.