Being alone is healthy. It’s important for a person to be able to enjoy their moments of solitude, the times of silence and solace, especially in the busy, modern world that we live in. But it can be difficult to be alone, especially for extended periods of time.
I don’t consider myself to be a lonely person, but I do consider myself to be alone a lot. I have a lot of experience being alone, probably more than a person my age should, but it has taught me a lot about the art of being alone, so as I thought about the year that has passed, which has taught me a lot about how other people feel about being alone, I decided to write something on the art of being alone.
It’s okay to romanticize
Often when I hear people talk about the concept of romanticizing something, it’s with disdain, or even in a scolding manner, because most of the time that I hear the concept being discussed, it’s within the context of something that shouldn’t be romanticized, such as mental illness.
And this is fair, because as someone who has dealt with mental illness in the past, romanticizing it isn’t helpful.
But you know what can be helpful? Learning how to romanticize your own life.
I have difficulty with focus. I can start a task pretty easily, but I tend to be an ‘all or nothing’ type of person, so when doing something I tend to either be distracted every 5 seconds, or I end up ignoring everything else until the task is completed. When the former happens it takes me a long time to complete the task, when the latter happens then I get very annoyed or frustrated at any interruptions.
But I’ve discovered a little trick that’s helped me stay focused in the past: pretending that I’m in a movie montage.
That’s right, when I need a little productivity boost, I put on some music (usually some lofi), and pretend that I’m in a movie montage, like Elle Woods studying in Legally Blonde or Andy Sachs working at Runway in The Devil Wears Prada. And I romanticize my work! I make myself a cup of tea in a cute mug to sip on while I work, just for the aesthetic of having tea. Or I write super neat and pretty in my bullet journal, just for the sake of it looking aesthetically pleasing.
What a shame it would be to exist in this world and deny ourselves the joy of romanticizing the otherwise mundane parts of our lives!
Dressing up doesn’t have to be for anyone other than yourself
Obviously I like clothing. If I didn’t, it would be a very strange choice for me to blog about fashion, clothes, and accessories so much.
My love of clothing started when I was younger, because I realized that what I wear has an effect on how I feel, so I enjoy getting dressed up!
I love color coordinating even my most casual outfits.
I love putting on a couple of accessories as a finishing touch.
I love making things a part of my signature style.
But the reason why I love these things, is because my look is almost like my own personal armor. When I’m in a pretty outfit, and I have my hair looking nice, and maybe a touch of lipstick or eyeshadow on, then I feel like I can take on the world.
And I know that many other people feel this way as well, so why reserve this feeling only for when you’ll be with others? Why not relish it, and get dressed up even when you know you’ll be alone the entire time?
Feeling lonely sometimes is normal
Being lonely and being alone are not the same thing. It’s possible to feel lonely while among a crowd of people, and it’s also possible to feel alone while by yourself.
It’s okay to feel lonely at times, just like it’s okay to feel sad or angry, or any other emotion that’s deemed as negative. You’re allowed to feel lonely, it’s human nature. We’re social creatures, so we can’t be alone every minute of every day. Yes, being alone is healthy. But so is spending time with other people.
Being alone is like a salad. It’s healthy, it’s good for you! But having salad for every single meal of every single day gets boring quickly, so it’s fine to spice things up and add other foods.
If you’re alone and you’re feeling lonely, then try writing a letter to a loved one, or having a video call with some friends!
Feeling lonely can hurt. Just as I’ve had a lot of experience being alone, I’ve also had a lot of experience with feeling lonely, so I know how it leaves you with a dull ache inside. So when you feel lonely, try to connect with people. Having those connections will just make your alone time so much sweeter when you want to enjoy some solitude.
Being alone can be difficult at times, but it doesn’t have to be difficult all the time. Find ways to enjoy your solitude, even if it seems like a silly idea at first!
Cozy Rebekah 